Mom is the Loneliest Number 

Since I wrote my last post four months ago, I have moved to a new city, away from family. I love my new home, but I miss my support system. 

Often, I see articles about “finding your tribe”, and at one point they motivated me to put myself out there and try and find other moms to be friends with. There is only one problem.. I am ridiculously awkward and I overthink every thing I do and say. Every week I go to a breastfeeding group and I step out of my comfort zone in hopes of finding a few moms who get my sense of humor and don’t judge my parenting choices too harshly. But, I have had no such luck, most days I end up back at home in tears from over analyzing every stupid thing I did and said.  I wallow in self pity over a package of peppermint cookies from Trader Joe’s, bashing my self for being so horrible at making friends, and then bashing myself for eating a whole sleeve of cookies (I think I just figured out why I haven’t lost the baby weight yet). But yesterday, after another failed attempt at being a normal human being who has friends, I realized something, I am okay with being alone. Sure, it would be nice to talk to another adult who get the joys and pains of motherhood, but I don’t need that. What I do need is to find more  confidence in myself and my decisions, rather than seek validation from other moms. Maybe some day I will meet someone that I click with, and it will be nice to have that companionship, but for now, I am going to work on loving myself instead of finding someone to love me. 

Rolling through the Motions

My two month old rolled over yesterday from his tummy to his back. I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t expect him to do that for atleast another month. It was adorable how he just flipped over and then threw his hands up with his eyes opened wide, like he was thinking, “how did I get here?” I think I wasn’t the only one suprised, he suprised himself as well. The only problem with this new little trick he learned is, how the heck am I supposed to keep him doing tummy time when he will just flip himself back over? Tummy time was enough of a challenge on a good day. Do I just keep rolling him back onto his stomach? Why don’t these things come with an owner’s manual? I guess that wouldn’t be half as much fun though 🙂 

It amazes me how fast my little guy is growing up already. Every day he seems to be absorbing and learning so much, it is fun to watch. Except at 4:30 in the morning when he is bright eyed and bushy tailed, it isn’t as much fun, but then you drink some coffee (what would I do without coffee?) and you play anyways, no matter how exhausted you are. I just have to keep reminding myself that we only get one shot to help them learn, grow, and experience the world, we might as well make it count. There will be time to sleep through the night and do things by ourselves later, for now we have the pleasure of being somebody’s whole world. 

The Very Best Diaper Cream

Before my son was born, I spent a long time looking for the perfect diaper cream that is safe to use with cloth diapers. After doing lots of research I stumbled upon CJs BUTTer. I love this stuff. Not only does it work fantastic on my son’s diaper rashes, but it smells amazing, is all-natural, and it is safe to use with cloth diapers. As an added bonus it also works great on that postpartum chafing every woman gets from wearing a pad 24/7 fo atleast six weeks (oh the joys of the postpartum period). It was honestly a huge life saver. 

My first purchase I couldn’t decide what scent to buy, so I bought their sample pack. My favorites include Mango Sugar and Mint, Coconut Lime Dream, and Oatmeal Milk and Honey. I love the size of the samples, they are perfect for my diaper bag and purse. I ended up ordering a large tub of the Mango, Sugar, and Mint scent as well as some “Carcass Cleaner”, which is their moisturizing soap. I have read that the soap works great for cloth wipes, but I haven’t tried it yet. I am planning on making a batch of cloth wipes this weekend (with a tutorial). I will try it out at that time and let you guys know.

Hugs and Cuddles

As I am sitting her cuddling my two month old while he naps, I got to thinking. I have learned so much as a new mom, and I am so thankful for the thousands of blogs and resources out there to answer my thousands of questions. My mom and husband both tease me for researching every possible question I have, but knowledge is power, right? To be honest, I mostly research for peace of mind.. I mean, parenting is scary. It feels good to know that my kid isn’t going to die from having the hiccups for the 15th time today. I could not have known the amount of anxiety that comes with having to care for and protect a tiny human who can only communicate by intensely crying when he needs something. Because I naturally want the best for him I also research almost everything I buy, from cloth diapers to strollers. I wouldn’t have been able to make the decisions that I did without reviews and advice from other moms. So, here I am adding my opinions to the mix in hopes of providing both piece of mind and help to other new moms.

A bit about me.. I am a first time mom living in a small town in Oregon with my husband of four years, my two dogs, my cat, and my eleven (fabulous) chickens. I love to craft when I have a free moment. I am currently a stay at home mom who will be working as a Certified Medical Assistant at a family practice recidency in town about four hours a week. I love being a SAHM, but man it is much harder than I ever imagined it would be. I am thankful for the love and support that I have from my family and friends and I am thankful that I have the opportunity to stay at home.

You know what I think the best part about being a mom is? You guessed it.. the hugs and cuddles, oh and I cannot forget those beautiful gummy smiles and coos my son gives me after he wakes up from a good nap. I gave birth to him naturally in a birthing center with a midwife, and after 24 hours of natural labor with 5 hours of pushing I tell you what.. I totally get why women get epidurals! But, he was worth every second of pain.

We are currently breastfeeding, thanks to my supportive husband. I cannot tell you how many times in the first seven weeks of our breastfeeding journey that I almost gave up. I had the typical sore, chapped, angry nipples, and many clogged ducts, and two bouts of mastitis. When my son was four weeks old I had a nasty gallbladder attack and ended up having a cholecystectomy. Through all of that I kept telling my husband how much I hated breastfeeding and how much I wanted to quit. Everytime, he a knowledge what I said and how I felt, and then he reminded me why I was doing it. I am doing this not only for the nutritional benefits and the health benefits for both my son and I, but also for the bonding. It is the greatest feeling to provide a source of comfort to your crying child when he is scared or in pain. Now, I am not saying that breastfeeding is the only way to go, and I have absolutely nothing against formula, and sometimes breastfeeding just doesn’t work out. But, if you are reading this and you are debating about quitting breastfeeding because you feel like you can’t go through one more miserable feeding where you feel like your nipples are going to fall off, your boobs are going to explode, and still not knowing whether your baby is getting enough milk. I want you to know that I have been there and I wanted to give up every second of every day for almost two months, but I promise it gets better. I also want you to know that it is your choice, and you need to do what is right for you. Your child will be ok whether you continue to breastfeed or not, you still need to take care of you, and if you need some support in quitting, I would be happy to be that support for you, and vice versa, if you need support in sticking with it I am more than happy to be that support for you as well. Us moms need to stick together and lift each other up with support and love, because while motherhood is one of the most beautiful things in the world, it can also be very isolating and tough sometimes. Feel free to email me at if you need that support.